For the first time in decades Alyssa woke up from those cold waters with pure, fiery intent. Her bare skin welcomed the cold air with a newfound purpose as she delved into the world for another taste of life and perhaps the nostalgic aroma of a life she lost. Her hands almost subconsciously clutched her flat stomach, when she thought of the child she lost it brought a sense of dread to her otherwise walled up mind. She wondered if it would have been a boy who shared her hazel eyes or a little girl who carried the same golden touch to her hair. Alyssa imagined herself braiding the hair of a lively little angel or wrestling with the strong efforts of a little knight. It left a longing smile on her lips and before she left Greece her cheeks welcomed the wet touch of salty tears for the life of an innocent torn from her by the mundane weapons carried by humans who could never truly understand the true beauty of evolution.
It took days for her to find her feet, to get herself on the first slight across the oceans all the while wondering if it was better to have lost her child to the world before she had to watch her own flesh and blood die of old age. Even then, she hated the people who took her child, an innocent soul who deserved to taste all the pain and joy that life offered. The flight was long, every second she spent away from a man she’d forgotten tore through her mind like a billion knives pricking at her brain. She wondered what kind of a father he would have been? The thoughts ran away with a passion she didn’t understand, shrouded in imagination she didn’t know she possessed.
Alyssa hated knowing the love she felt for Gavin in a life that escaped her mind for too many reincarnations but she wasn’t Madison anymore. She bore some of the same unique qualities, the same hazel eyes and a unique ability to taste the lust of life for an eternity. While she found the need to tell him why she buried her own memories in despair for a lost child she was afraid to face him knowing he’d see a soul that embraced the change of time. Alyssa knew she was Madison and Madison lived inside the depths of her mind but she didn’t know how to embrace the combination of two souls who belonged to a single spirit. It felt like an impossible task laid out before her.
The noon sun touched the horizon in a fiery heat when she retraced her steps to the most recent embrace of her demise. She could almost taste the iron of the knife digging into her chest by her own intentions but dread washed over her. The carnival, it was gone. Nothing met her but vacant land with no sign of a carnival’s presence. He was gone, somewhere in a world too big for a single soul to find. Perhaps with time she’d stumble upon him but the need begging her to share the truth about her induced amnesia drove a negative wave over her thoughts.
“No! Fuck!”, she held her palms to her temples and turned frantically in search for even just the shadow of something that would lead her steps. Alyssa crouched down, picked up the sharp edges of a rock and flung it into the horizon. It rolled in the swirls of the wind blowing around her before her other palm stretched out to grasp the rock in the embrace of an invisible tug. Her immense telekinetic pull drove the rock back towards her and shoved the sharpest into the bark of a tree, splinters showered the earth around her as anger forced the rock through the thick circumference of the tree’s harsh shell. A slow trail of blood leaked through her nose under the pressure but Alyssa pressed forward in an attempt to soothe the intense agony and furiousness dancing through her mind. Soon the bark of the tree folded in on each other and the massive oak cracked before tumbling to a broken stump on the ground. Dust blew up from the impact and greeted her white, lace shirt in a beautifully unique wave.
“Where the hell did you go?”, she glanced at the bright yellow orb lighting up the world around her in hopes that she’d find some way to trace his footsteps. She needed to find him and then she’d burn the bastards who took her child to ash and watch their remains scatter to the wind as nothing more but awful patches of a corpse who’s soul deserved every ounce of agony she could inflict.
